Chapter 6: You Don’t Have to Yield Anymore
“I don’t want you to hate me.”
My heart thumped deep within my chest.
“…There’s no way I could hate you.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I do know.”
“You don’t.”
It was rare for him to say something so firmly, and I blinked in surprise.
Lord Ashley frowned slightly.
“I am not someone who can always say the right things in front of you.”
I could not immediately grasp the meaning of those words.
“…Lord Ashley.”
“What is it?”
“What do you mean by that?”
My voice came out quieter than I expected.
He looked at me for a while, then spoke in a low tone.
“When I am in front of you, my reason does not work as well as I thought.”
My breath stopped.
“It was the same that night.”
“…”
“I did not want to let you return as you were.”
It was only a simple statement, yet it made my chest tighten.
It was painful, and yet not unpleasant at all.
“If I am still forcing you in any way, tell me.”
“I’m not being forced—”
“Can you truly say that?”
“…Perhaps, a little.”
“I thought so.”
There was no blame in his low voice, and I let out a small laugh.
“But it’s different from before.”
“In what way?”
“The restraint here is not to avoid losing something.”
“…”
“I am trying my best because I want to.”
Lord Ashley looked at me intently.
His gaze was so direct that this time, I was the one who could not endure it first.
“Please don’t look at me like that.”
“Why?”
“…Because it troubles me.”
“I am the one who is troubled.”
When I looked up in surprise, he was completely serious.
“You are, at times, terribly unguarded.”
“Am I?”
“You are.”
“I don’t intend to be.”
“That makes it worse.”
Hearing that said with a straight face, I finally burst into laughter.
For a moment, Lord Ashley widened his eyes, then his gaze softened slightly.
“…You really should smile more.”
“You’re saying that again.”
“It is the truth.”
Suddenly, the tension in my chest loosened.
I found that I liked the version of myself that could smile in front of him.
“Lord Ashley.”
“What is it?”
“May I ask you one thing?”
“Go ahead.”
“If I were still someone who did not have the room to love another person, what would you have done?”
Lord Ashley paused for just a moment before answering.
“I would have waited.”
“For how long?”
“As long as necessary.”
“That is quite a long wait.”
“Not really.”
“Not really?”
“If waiting is all it takes, it is a small price.”
It was not a joke or a clever remark.
I could tell from his voice that he truly meant it.
Why was it that this person never hesitated in moments like these?
It was unfair.
“That’s unfair.”
“What is?”
“If you say things like that, I will end up falling in love with you.”
The moment I said it, I realized what I had just confessed, and my face grew hot.
As I tried to look away, a large hand gently touched my cheek.
Reflexively, I lifted my face.
His fingertips were surprisingly gentle, yet they held me as if they would not let me escape.
“Don’t look down now.”
“Even if you say that…”
“You were the one who said it.”
“Yes…”
“Then I will not hold back either.”
My heart pounded painfully.
“You don’t have to yield anymore.”
“…”
“If there is something you want, then say that you want it. Here, you don’t have to endure that.”
At those words, something deep within my chest loosened.
Something that had been tightly closed for so long felt as if it was quietly opening.
“Then…”
My throat trembled.
Even so, I felt that I had to say it now.
“Then, I want you. Lord Ashley.”
For a moment, the air stood still.
Lord Ashley did not close his eyes or look away, and simply gazed at me as if troubled.
“Don’t say that with that expression.”
“What kind of expression?”
“…One that makes it harder for me to keep my reason.”
He was so straightforward that I almost laughed.
And yet, in the next moment, I felt so happy I could have cried.
“You don’t need to hold back.”
“Are you serious?”
“I would not joke about something like this.”
Hearing that answer, Lord Ashley slowly pulled me closer.
His arms were strong, yet he handled me as if I were something fragile.
My forehead rested against his shoulder.
As he embraced me, I gently closed my eyes.
“…This is a problem.”
“What is?”
“I don’t think I can let you go anymore.”
My chest filled to the brim.
“Please don’t let me go.”
“Even if you didn’t say it, that was my intention.”
His low voice echoed right beside my ear.
That alone filled me completely.
After a while, Lord Ashley pulled back just slightly.
At a distance where we could almost touch, he looked at me.
It was not a gaze seeking permission.
But it was one that would not miss even the slightest sign of rejection from me.
So I raised my face slightly on my own.
The next kiss was brief, yet sweet enough to make my heart tremble.
Even after our lips parted, his hand still rested against my cheek.
“…I love you.”
This time, I was able to answer without hesitation.
“I feel the same.”
At those words, Lord Ashley narrowed his eyes just slightly.
It looked like the fullest smile he could manage, and I found myself smiling again.
As spring approached.
While I was reviewing documents summarizing the use of donations for the schools, a maid bowed and spoke.
“My Lady, the Countess Evans, Miss Cecil, and Lord Frederick Valentone have arrived.”
“…I see.”
What a troublesome group to have gathered.
It was unlikely to be anything good.
The maid lowered her eyes as if troubled.
“They do not have an appointment, but they insist on seeing you.”
At that moment, Lord Ashley, who was seated across from me, spoke quietly.
“If you do not wish to see them, refuse. This is your home.”
“…No, I will see them.”
After thinking for a moment, I nodded.
“I want to bring this to a proper end.”
“I understand. Do not push yourself.”
Lord Ashley looked at me, then gave a small nod.
When I entered the reception room, Mother stood up as if relieved.
Cecil sat with a downcast expression.
Frederick sat beside her, his face stiff as he remained silent.
“Lydia! Thank goodness, you look well.”
“…What is your business today?”
I sat down as prompted and immediately asked for their purpose.
Mother’s smile stiffened slightly.
“There is no need to be so guarded. We are family, after all.”
“Please state your business.”
When I said it firmly, Mother’s gaze wavered, and then she let out a resigned sigh.
“We would like you to lend us a little help.”