Chapter 36: I Became a Goddess

“…That is how things are, Sir Richard.”

I confessed to Sir Richard.
Everything.

That my real name is Electra, and that I am a viscount’s daughter of the Vent family.
That I am now divorced, and that my former husband is the ‘Hero,’ Lord Harid.
The circumstances that led to the divorce, and the conspiracy that surrounded us.

What became of the Carlson house due to the intentions of the duke and duchess.
I even told him about the prophetic dream.

Truly everything.
I no longer have any secrets.

“So that is what happened after you began seeing prophetic dreams.”
“Yes.”
“Even now, it still feels… unbelievable.”
“You did not actually regress through time?”
“…I do not feel as though I did.”
“I did have a very vivid dream once.”
“It felt real.”
“But in the end, it was still a dream.”
“Something extremely close to reality.”
“I do not feel the exhaustion of having lived my life over again.”
“That is… fortunate.”

Truly.
If it had been a second life, my mind would feel far too old.

“Since nothing has occurred since then, I simply think of it as receiving good fortune from the gods.”
“Thanks to that, I am who I am now.”
“…I see.”
“If one calls it divine guidance, it does seem to fit.”
“You have talent, after all.”
“Ah.”
“What is it, Sir Richard?”
“…Should I still call you Ellen?”
“Or Electra?”
“You may call me as you always have.”
“‘Ellen’ can be a nickname for Electra, after all.”
“That is true.”

Sir Richard listened to everything about my past until the very end.
The prophetic dream surprised him, but he accepted it.

And then, I spoke about what comes next.

“At first, the ‘threat’ that drove me to flee to the church may have disappeared.”
“You mean pursuit by the duke and the divorced viscount.”
“Yes.”

When people are happy, they do not cling to what they discarded.
But when they are unhappy, they cling to what they once had.

At least, that is the kind of man Lord Harid seems to be.
As for Lady Livia, I am not sure she even understands whether she is happy now.
She seems to possess a strange obsession.

Is it because her personality is twisted.
Or perhaps it is pride and self-esteem.

To begin with, ‘stealing’ Harid was not the result of carefree happiness.
It may have been more malicious, a deliberate act of targeting a man because he already had a wife.

For her, the existence of a ‘divorced, unhappy former wife’ is essential.
That is why she used Lady Albright as my stand-in and toyed with her for half a year.

“If I can continue living without involvement with them, that would be best.”
“…But that seems difficult.”
“I seem unable to avoid standing out.”
“…Yes.”

Golden light.
Powerful healing magic.
And strengthening magic.

All three together make me unmistakably ‘saint-like.’

“To live without drawing attention would mean not using my abilities.”
“But I do not want that, and I do not think I can do it.”
“At their core, my abilities are healing magic.”
“Not using them means not helping people.”
“I cannot do that.”

Sir Richard nodded quietly.

“I see.”
“That does seem likely.”

“Would disguises help.”
“Concealing your hair color, for instance.”
“That would only hide that the goddess is Electra.”
“Lady Livia is called a ‘Saint,’ so sooner or later she may wish to meet the ‘Goddess,’ or others will arrange it.”

The more I act, the more we will be compared.
Eventually, those rumors will reach her.

No matter how I think about it, it feels inevitable that she will find some pretext to attack me.
An accusation.

Even if I do nothing to her, I feel she will come after me.

“What do you wish to do, Ellen?”
“I wish to continue my current activities.”
“Rather than returning to life as a noblewoman, this suits me better.”
“Then you will surely become famous, and one day draw their attention.”
“Yes.”
“I may find my happiness on this path.”
“But it feels as though they will appear when I have forgotten them.”
“Is that just paranoia?”
“No.”
“I cannot say it is.”
“There is no proof they will act, but it feels like a reasonable assumption.”
“Or rather, something that could happen.”
“If a man who committed infidelity finds his new marriage failing, and his former wife appears radiant and more valuable than before.”
“He may think, ‘She still has feelings for me.’”
“Is that how men are?”
“Haha.”
“Even you think so, Sir Richard?”
“As a generalization.”

I cannot imagine him committing infidelity.
Perhaps that is my wishful thinking.
Or perhaps it is trust earned through his actions.

“In the end, this is all speculation.”
“There is no evidence.”
“To attack them now would be strange.”
“Even if they are weakened.”

Sir Richard silently urged me on.

“And I cannot be certain the duke and duchess will never involve themselves with me again.”
“That uncertainty would linger for the rest of my life.”
“…That may be so.”
“That is why I intend to act first.”
“Act first?”

I nodded.

“For that, I will need your cooperation.”
“My cooperation?”
“In concrete terms, I intend to become… a ‘Goddess.’”

His eyes widened.

“Battlefield Muse is fine.”
“Until now, it was only a rumor.”
“But from now on, I will actively act as a ‘Goddess.’”
“…Meaning?”
“In other words, cultivating popularity.”
“Like Lord Harid and Lady Livia once did.”
“I will sell the image of the ‘Battlefield Goddess.’”
“I will become famous and praised by the people.”
“I will seize renown.”
“And then.”

And then.

“I will crush their pride head-on by becoming something greater.”
“…Them?”
“My former husband, Lord Harid.”
“Saint Livia.”
“And the Pharmason ducal house.”
“Once my name spreads, I will make proposals to the church and petition the royal family.”
“I will demand an audience with the ‘Saint.’”
“And I will confront them directly.”
“I will begin laying the groundwork now.”
“For the moment, I believe I can secure the support of the Margrave of Grandra.”

As a renowned saint.
No, as a goddess.

“I will challenge them openly.”
“After solidifying my foundation.”
“…Is that petty?”
“Not at all.”
“You will simply do what you already do, while becoming more beloved.”
“And you wish to prove yourself to them.”
“You do not intend any direct harassment.”

I nodded.

“Yes.”
“I want to become someone who can say.”
“I am angry about the past.”
“If you lay a hand on me again, you will regret it.”

“There are quicker ways to do that, but…”
“…If you are recognized as a great Battlefield Goddess.”
“You may receive marriage proposals from high-ranking nobles.”
“You were originally of viscount rank.”
“That would not be unreasonable.”
“…Come to think of it.”
“Yes?”
“…I have heard that the Crown Prince’s engagement fell through due to issues in a neighboring country.”
“What.”
“Is that true?”
“It is a rumor.”
“And one that has reached even Grandra.”
“So who knows how reliable it is.”
“Well…”

As far as I know, the Crown Prince was engaged to a foreign princess.
If that fell through, the capital must be in an uproar.

“If your renown rises, it is possible even the royal family may approach you.”
“I had not considered that far.”
“But you wish to be able to confront the ducal house, correct?”
“…Yes.”
“No, that is not what I mean.”

I do not wish to seize power through marriage.

“That is why I ask for your cooperation.”
“My cooperation…”

Sir Richard had not yet grasped my meaning.
It was far too roundabout.

“You are already called a ‘Holy Knight.’”
“Your renown will be a great strength.”

“….”

“My former husband was called a ‘Hero.’”
“Whether he truly deserved that is unclear now.”
“But that was who he was.”
“Yes.”
“So.”
“In the same vein.”
“If a ‘Holy Knight’ stands beside a ‘Goddess.’”
“And someday stands opposite them.”
“That would be a blow to the Pharmason house.”
“After all, they trapped you and drove you out.”
“I wish to condemn the Pharmason house for that as well.”
“Which is why…”

I felt my face grow hot.
I must have been bright red.

At my age, to feel this embarrassed over romance.

“Sir Richard.”
“Would you stand with me.”
“And help me show them up?”
“Stand with you…”
“Yes.”
“So please.”
“Would you become the Goddess’s… ‘Holy Knight’?”

…

This was far too indirect.
Even as I thought so, I could not stop.

“…You mean.”
“You want me to become your partner.”
“Is that what you mean?”
“…Yes.”

He understood at last.
I waited for his answer, panicking inwardly.

“Ellen.”
“No, Electra.”

He stood, stepped before me, and knelt on one knee.

“I have long held feelings for you.”
“…I love you.”

…

“You may have noticed.”
“And I sensed that you felt the same.”
“That was not a misunderstanding.”
“…Yes.”
“I was drawn to you.”
“…Thank you.”
“I was drawn to you as well.”
“So I gladly accept.”
“And.”
“I do not know if this is the right time to say it.”
“Yes.”
“…Please allow me to court you with marriage in mind.”
“Even if not immediately.”
“I wish to marry you.”

He accepted my confession.
And proposed.

My answer was already decided.

“Yes.”
“Please continue to walk with me.”

We smiled and embraced naturally.
We had sensed each other’s feelings before.
But today, they became certain.

A bond filled with warmth and happiness.
A happiness I had never known before.

I gained a lifelong partner.
And formally, Sir Richard and I became engaged.

Thus, I began acting actively as a ‘Goddess.’

In practical terms, little changed.
I simply acted with greater intention to build renown.

I cooperated with the knight order more frequently.
I was even given personal ‘equipment,’ styled to look the part.

White fabric with golden embroidery.
Decorations.
Not merely a saint’s dress, but a war-goddess style, complete with a breastplate.

I carried a slender spear adorned with ornaments and a banner.
Highly visible, as in the village defense long ago.

And he protected me.
Wearing his trademark silver gauntlets.

Sir Richard does not favor a specific weapon.
He can seize an enemy’s weapon and use it.
But he prefers mobility.
He wields twin swords and carries no shield, relying on sturdy gauntlets instead.

Unfortunately, my strengthening magic cannot target objects.
So I cannot bless equipment.

But as long as I stand on the battlefield, I can enhance him and the knights.
Because altering others’ abilities affects their actions, I do not use it constantly.
We refined its timing through repeated drills with the knight order.

We fought not only monsters in the Grandra forest, but also traveled to neighboring regions to help.
A mobile peacekeeping force, used to build renown.

However, temporary relief alone would cause later hardship.
As someone who once governed land, I discussed this with the margrave and neighboring lords.

With the margrave’s backing, as my renown grew, my opinions gained weight.
I took care not to overstep or infringe on their authority.

My goal is not to realize ideals, but to gain renown.
I do not shout ‘For the people’ to pressure lords.
I understand governance.

Without funds or supplies, one cannot simply command action.
Balance is essential.

Thanks to that care, I avoided conflict with neighboring lords and steadily built my reputation.

And then.

As the ‘Battlefield Goddess,’ I gained renown and an opportunity.
I was invited to meet a duchess in the capital.

Not the Pharmason duchess.

A different ducal house.
A young duke’s young wife.

A woman likely close to my own age.

Duchess Katarina of the Rusewell house.