Chapter 30: The Morning of My Birthday

――There is no gift more delightful than one given by the person you love.
And when that gift is for your birthday, it is even more so.

When Faustina woke up that morning, it was still a little early, and the world outside was dim.
Clouds hid the sun from view.
She poked her cheeks with both index fingers to sharpen her awareness a little, then climbed out of bed, pulled out the notebook hidden underneath, and plopped down on the sofa with a big yawn.
She flipped through the pages.
Her eyes scanned the section where she had written about what happened during her eighth birthday party, but this time there would be no party.
Because of that, it was not very useful.
If there was anything important at all, it would probably be Bernhard’s present.
Last time, it had been a pure white ribbon embroidered with delicate flowers.
She had been so happy with Bernhard’s gift that she tied her hair with it every single day.
Faustina picked up a lock of her own hair.

“Even if it matches my hair color, white really doesn’t suit me.”

She had left a bad impression at their first meeting and had been disliked from the start.
Even if he disliked her, as long as she was his fiancée, he was obligated to give her a birthday present.
She had received gifts from him until she was disowned at eighteen, but now Faustina could tell that none of them had been chosen by Bernhard himself.

“Ahaha… well, honestly, I don’t really remember what he sent me after a certain point anyway…”

Besides that, whether she commented on the gifts or wore them, she could not recall Bernhard ever saying anything about it.

To him, it truly did not matter at all.
She did not matter at all.

If she merely entered his field of vision, his lapis-blue eyes would glare at her.
If she tried to speak to him, he would reply in a voice so cold that anyone else would have frozen on the spot.
She wanted to applaud her past self’s mental fortitude for continuing to approach and speak to him despite all that.

“With the me I am now, that’s absolutely impossible…”

If anything, she would rather ask for the engagement to be broken off herself.
She had once told Bernhard that if he ever found someone he loved, he could break off their engagement at any time, but he was the crown prince.
He could not simply change fiancées on a whim.

“Still, Elvira was chosen not just because of me, but because she was loved by His Highness.
That part was huge…”

Faustina closed the notebook and hid it under the bed again, then opened the window that led out to the garden, thinking she still had time before Rinsy came to wake her.
Cold air brushed against her skin.

“Today is my eighth birthday, huh…”

Last time, she had been disowned at eighteen.
Noble Academy enrollment began at fifteen.
She wanted to break off her engagement with Bernhard before entering the academy.

As always, no good ideas came to mind.
The fastest way would be to bully Elvira again like before.
That would come with the full set of engagement annulment and disownment.

“Ugh… I really don’t want to be disowned.
Somehow, I need His Highness to realize that he likes Elvira as soon as possible.”

And so, gazing at the flowers in full bloom before her eyes, Faustina pondered once more.

After that, Rinsy came to wake her.
Rinsy was surprised to find Faustina already awake and gazing outside, but assumed she had risen early because today was a once-a-year special day.
Faustina did not deny it, because it was not a lie either.
Rinsy brushed her hair, helped her change into her everyday dress, and they left the room together.

As they walked, servants greeted her with words of congratulations.
She felt genuinely happy to receive them.
The very first to congratulate her was Rinsy.

Walking slightly ahead, Rinsy turned her face a little toward Faustina.

“After your birthday, it will be Lord Cain’s birthday next.”

“That’s right.
Elvira’s and my brother’s birthdays will have parties like usual, won’t they?”

“Madam did not agree with the decision not to hold a party for your birthday, so I imagine Lady Elvira’s and Lord Cain’s birthdays will be celebrated rather extravagantly to make up for it.”

“That can’t be helped.
My health is unstable right now, and no one knows when I might collapse again.
If the guest of honor fainted during the party, that would be a disaster.”

Citrine had looked regretful, but had accepted that it could not be helped.
There was one person who still had not accepted it, but since the head of the household had decided, she did not press the issue further.

They arrived in front of the dining hall, and Rinsy opened the door.
Everyone in the family except Faustina was already inside.

“Good morning, Fana.”

“Good morning, Father.”

She greeted Citrine first.
Next was her mother, Ludmila.
Ludmila looked like she wanted to say something, but Faustina ignored it and greeted Cain instead.
Then she tilted her head.

“Huh?
Where is Elvira?”

Elvira was the only one missing.

“Lady Elvira is still resting, as she is feeling unwell today.”

The one who answered was Elvira’s maid, Tricia.
She was a woman with dark brown hair tied back and drooping eyes of the same color.

“I see.”

After what had happened recently, Elvira probably found it hard to face Faustina on the morning of her birthday.
She would come out eventually, Faustina thought, pushing Elvira to the back of her mind.

“Faustina.”

Citrine, who usually called her by her nickname, addressed her by her full name.

“Happy eighth birthday.
This is the stuffed animal you wanted.”

“Wow!
Thank you so much, Father!”

Citrine received a large box from the head butler and handed it to Faustina.
She gazed happily at the big box wrapped in sky-blue paper and tied with a pale yellow ribbon, rubbing her cheek against it.
It was the stuffed animal she had been looking forward to for so long.

Citrine looked fondly at Faustina, who was radiating happiness, and told her that the apple pie would be for snack time later.

“There will be an extra-large cake made by the head chef tonight.”

“Hehe.
It’s the cake we only get to see on birthdays.
I’m looking forward to the apple pie too, but also the cake.”

Even though she had not yet eaten breakfast, Faustina was already excited about the apple pie.
Watching her with a smile, Rinsy was already planning to go pick up the pie from the shop later.
She had gone in advance and made a reservation so it would be available on Faustina’s birthday.
The shop had been deeply humbled to hear it was for a duke’s daughter, but at Faustina’s request, Rinsy had asked them to treat it as usual.

“Rinsy, take the presents to my room.”

“Yes.”

“Won’t you open it now?”

“I’ll save it for after breakfast.”

“Fana.”

When she approached Cain at his gesture, he offered his congratulations and handed her a book wrapped in paper the same color as her hair.

“Thank you!
What kind of book is it?”

‘“The Proper Conduct of a Calm Young Lady.”’

“Ugh.”

“I’m kidding.
It’s something you’d probably like, so read it later.”

“Honestly…”

Her brother was in usual form, even on a day like this.
When she shot him a sullen look, he patted her head.
Normally she would complain about her hair getting messy, but today was special, so she let it slide.
She placed the book on top of the box Rinsy was holding, and then Ludmila’s stiff voice called out to her.

She turned around.
Ludmila looked tense, her expression rigid.
A mother being this tense toward her own daughter could only mean one thing.

“Happy birthday.”

“Yes.
Thank you very much.”

“This is from me.
…Whether you use it or not is up to you.”

She handed Faustina a box much smaller than the one containing the stuffed animal.
For some reason, Faustina felt compelled to open only her mother’s present on the spot.

“……”

Inside was a hair ornament shaped like a purple azalea.
It was unexpected.
Ludmila had always insisted on cute colors like pink, saying spring colors suited Faustina best, yet she had chosen purple.
The azalea Faustina had selected as her hair ornament at the queen’s tea party had been purple.
Perhaps Ludmila remembered that.

It was modest in size, neither flashy nor plain.
Considering Faustina’s tendency to move around a lot, it was designed so it would not get in the way.
For Ludmila, who favored extravagance, this was quite restrained.

Faustina picked it up and looked at her mother in surprise.
Ludmila stammered as she spoke.

“I-I just remembered you said it was a color that suited you, so I chose it, that’s all.”

“……”

She remembered what Faustina had said back then.
Warmth slowly spread through her chest.
What was this feeling?

She could not remember what she had received on her previous eighth birthday.
Why she could not remember was something she decided to set aside for now.

Faustina took out the hair ornament and held it up to her hair.
She set the empty box on the floor and tried to put it on herself, but she could not do it properly.
As she struggled, Ludmila crouched down and fastened it for her.

For the first time in a long while, Faustina faced her mother directly.

“How… is it?”

“It suits you very well.”

There was no frown between her brows.
Her expression was gentle.
Her voice was calm.
How long had it been since Faustina had last seen her mother look at her so kindly?

Her cheeks faintly flushed, Faustina said—

“Thank you, Mother.”

She smiled her brightest smile of the day.

“……”

Just as Faustina was happy to see her mother’s gentle expression again, Ludmila was equally shaken by the smile she had not seen in so long.
She stiffened, overwhelmed.

Faustina blinked in surprise, but Ludmila quickly looked away and returned to her seat.
She had barely managed to suppress the urge to cry from happiness at receiving that smile, and in doing so, ruined a precious moment.

Faustina blinked several times, wondering if this still counted as progress, then handed the empty box to a maid and took her seat.
Citrine watched with a wry smile, and Cain glanced between mother and sister with an expression that said he had expected this.

The meal proceeded without incident.

When dessert apples were served, the head maid appeared carrying a gift-wrapped box.

“Lady Faustina, a messenger from the castle arrived earlier.”

A gift from the castle meant the sender was obvious.
She took the letter tucked into the ribbon.
The sender was Bernhard.

Faustina accepted the present and glanced at Rinsy, but Rinsy was holding the large box with the stuffed animal in both arms.

‘…Well, I’ll open it now.
It’s probably the same as always.’

She was prepared.
She carefully unwrapped it, opened the lid, and froze in surprise.

Inside was a ribbon.
The same as before.

What surprised her was the color.

“It’s the same color as His Highness’s eyes.”

Just as Cain said, it was lapis blue.
The same color as Bernhard’s eyes.
She hesitantly picked up the ribbon, which exuded a sense of luxury at a glance.

“It’s different from before…”

Her quiet murmur reached no one.
After staring at it intently, she gently returned the ribbon to the box.

Around the time Faustina was receiving her birthday present from Bernhard in the dining hall, Elvira was in her room, clutching a teddy bear tightly.
The way she hugged it made her look as though she were afraid of something.

“That dream again…”

Since the first time Faustina collapsed from the mysterious high fever, Elvira had begun having nightmares.
Not often, but occasionally.
And yet, when she woke up, she always forgot what they were about.

She would wake screaming and beg Ludmila for help, crying and asking her to stay by her side until the dreams stopped.
Ludmila, indulgent toward Elvira, stayed with her each time.

“……”

That morning too, she woke from a nightmare, drenched in cold sweat.
Tricia had wiped her down when she came to wake her, so the discomfort was gone now.
Her clothes had been changed, and the sheets replaced.

Normally she would not remember anything, but today—she vaguely did.

“Someone…
They looked at me while I was begging for help…
And just kept… laughing…”

In the dream, Elvira had been screaming for help as overwhelming terror closed in on her.
The other person merely laughed, said something, and watched.

“……”

She tightened her grip on the teddy bear.

The image that surfaced in Elvira’s mind was Bernhard, Faustina’s fiancé.
She could never forget the impact of seeing him for the first time.
Her heart had been struck in an instant.

The beautiful crown prince with silver hair tinged with violet and lapis-blue eyes.
She had fallen in love at first sight.

She grew to hate Faustina, who had been chosen as his fiancée due to the circumstances of their families.
Even though Faustina often ran away and failed to show up when Bernhard came to visit, Elvira was convinced she was the one closest to him.
And yet, the person Bernhard smiled most warmly at was always Faustina.
If anything, when Elvira appeared, he looked disappointed every time.

“I love Lord Bernhard more than she does!”

She thought about how she could steal the position of fiancée from Faustina.
Faustina had collapsed twice from the mysterious fever and was now on break from queen consort training.
If she were judged unfit to be the crown prince’s fiancée, that would be enough.

But no matter how much Elvira appealed, no one listened.
Even when she begged Ludmila, her mother would smile awkwardly and steer the conversation elsewhere.

“I’ll make him fall in love with me no matter what…!
I love him so much more than my sister does.
He’s bound to notice my feelings.
But for that, I have to meet him.”

Wondering whether Bernhard had any upcoming visits, Elvira placed the teddy bear down and left her room, intending to ask Faustina despite her reluctance.