Chapter 17: Picnic at the Royal Hunting Grounds

In the rattling carriage, I stared ahead with the lifeless eyes of a dead fish.

“Why do I have to wake up early on my day off and deliberately go into the forest?”

Sitting across from me, dressed in hunting clothes, Claude-sama gave a wry smile.

“I’m sorry.
My brother insisted, saying, ‘As an apology for the vacuum cleaner incident, I’ll treat you to some really good meat.’”

“I like eating, but I hate hunting.
I get muddy.
There are bugs.
And I’ll get sunburned.”

I counted off my complaints on my fingers.

I had only just finished ‘washing’ that dreadful vacuum golem the other day.
My magical fatigue hadn’t even fully recovered yet, and now it was an outdoor excursion.
Was this a challenge to my indoor soul?

“Don’t worry.
You can stay at the base camp, Eliana.
The forest is dangerous.”

“You promise?
You won’t suddenly say, ‘We’re short-handed, help us out,’ right?”

“I swear.
You can relax in the tent and drink tea elegantly.”

Those words alone were my emotional support.

Two hours by carriage from the capital.

We arrived at the vast hunting grounds managed by the royal family.

“Gahahaha!
Perfect weather for a hunt!”

The moment we disembarked, King Louis’s booming voice echoed through the area.

He rolled up the sleeves of his luxurious hunting outfit, proudly showing off his muscles.

Beside him stood Hilda-sama, also brimming with enthusiasm.
She was even wearing light armor and carrying a long spear.

Was this a battlefield?

“Master!
Today I’ll bring down the greatest prey!
Look forward to it!”

“Yes, yes.
Please do your best without getting hurt.”

I waved lazily, stifling a yawn.

“All right, let’s go!
Claude, don’t lag behind!
Today we’ll see who gets the most!”

“…Good grief.
Eliana, I’m off.
If anything happens, tell the guards.”

“Have a safe trip.”

The three of them, along with their accompanying knights, disappeared into the dense forest.

The sound of hooves faded away.
The dust settled.

All that remained was me, a few guards, and a freshly erected massive tent.

“…Now then.”

I looked around.

Birdsong.
Sunlight filtering through the leaves.

It wasn’t actually that bad.

“Guards, I’ll be inside the tent.
Unless there’s a suspicious person, please don’t call out to me.”

“Yes!
Understood!”

I slipped inside the tent.

The interior was spacious.

About six tatami mats’ worth of space, furnished with a table, chairs, and a simple bed.

A thick rug covered the ground, though it felt slightly chilly from the forest moisture.

“…This isn’t perfect relaxation yet.”

My “comfort environment construction skill” began to itch.

I opened the magic bag I had brought along.

From inside, I took out the following items.

First, my favorite feather cushions, three of them.

Second, a soft blanket.

Third, an aroma candle with insect-repelling effects.

Fourth, a stack of novels I was in the middle of reading.

First, I purified the tent’s air with a cleaning spell.
The dusty smell vanished.

Next, I arranged the cushions on the bed and spread out the blanket.

An improvised “nest” was complete.

Then I lit the aroma candle.
A refreshing citrus scent filled the air.

“Good.”

I took off my shoes and dove onto the bed.

Fluffy.

The rug underneath seemed to have some insulation magic, as there was no chill from below.
As expected of a royal tent.

“…Perfect.”

I opened the basket Mina-san had packed for me.

First tier, sandwiches.
Second tier, quiche and salad.
Third tier, cut fruit.

I took a bite of the quiche first.

The crisp pastry and the gentle sweetness of the eggs.

Eating it in the forest air made it even better.

“Reading begins.”

I opened my book and immersed myself in the world of words.

From outside, I occasionally heard distant barking dogs and something like explosions, probably magic.

I ignored it.

This was within my barrier.

One hour.

Two hours.

Three hours.

I spent blissful time.

No interruptions.
Eating what I liked.
Sleeping whenever I felt like it.

This was the correct way to picnic.

Early afternoon.

Things grew noisy outside the tent.

“…They’re back.”

I set my book down and stretched.

I wondered how the hunt had gone.
Catching even one rabbit would be a success.

I opened the tent flap and peeked outside.

“…Huh?”

What stood there was a group of castaways.

King Louis’s clothes were torn to shreds, covered in mud.

Hilda-sama’s hair was in disarray, her cheeks scraped.

Even Claude-sama, who usually looked so composed, was sweating heavily and breathing hard.

“…What happened?
Was there a war?”

When I asked, King Louis flashed a grin, though his face was caked with mud.

“Gahahaha…!
It appeared!
The legendary ‘Black Lord’!”

“Lord?”

“A gigantic boar over five meters long!
It was a tough one!
The three of us finally brought it down together!”

Looking behind them, I saw a cart piled high with a mountain of meat.

…We were going to eat that?
The butchering would be a nightmare.

“Huff, huff…
I’m exhausted…”

Claude-sama staggered toward me.

There was no usual sharpness in his eyes.
He looked completely drained of magic.

“Eliana…
Water…”

“Here you go.”

I handed him the chilled fruit water I had prepared.

He drained it in one go, his expression reviving instantly.

“…Can I go inside the tent?
I can’t take another step.”

“That’s fine, but please get the mud off first.”

I snapped my fingers and cast a simple cleaning spell on all three of them.

The mud and sweat vanished in an instant.

“Oh!
That’s convenient!”

“Much appreciated, Master!”

Now clean, the three of them stumbled into the tent like zombies.

And then—

“…What is this place?”

The moment he entered, King Louis froze.

The aroma in the air.
The perfect temperature.
And the irresistible mountain of cushions piled on the bed.

On the table were delicious-looking snacks.

It was a paradise, completely separate from the brutal outdoors.

“…Is this heaven?”

Claude-sama muttered, then dove face-first into the cushion nest I had made.

“Ahhh…
So fluffy…”

“That’s not fair, Claude!
Let me in too!”

King Louis dove in from the other side.

Not a shred of royal dignity remained.

“Master!
May I have this sandwich!?”

Hilda-sama immediately went for the food.

“Go ahead.
…Um, everyone?
That was supposed to be my spot.”

My protest echoed in vain.

On the narrow bed, three grown adults sprawled out together like dumplings.

“…Heavenly…”

“I can’t move anymore…”

“So good…”

Perhaps from the adrenaline crash after the hunt, they quickly went limp.

The heroes who had slain a magical beast were now nothing more than useless adults.

“…Sigh.”

I sighed and returned to my chair.

Well, fine.

Thanks to their muddy efforts, I had been able to relax here in warmth and comfort.

“Good work.
Why don’t you take a short nap?”

At my suggestion, all three nodded in unison, and within seconds, they were asleep.

Snoooore.
Snoooore.
Graaah.

King Louis’s thunderous snoring.

Hilda-sama’s sleep talk, “Meat…”

Claude-sama’s quiet breathing.

Noisy.

But strangely, it didn’t bother me.

I reopened my book.

My “lonely day off” was over.

But this lively, peaceful space wasn’t bad either.

Outside, I could hear the knights struggling with processing the massive boar.

Poor things.

I should bring them some refreshments later.

Thinking that, I turned the page.

I had no idea that the boar’s hide would turn out to be so tough that even the royal chefs would give up.

And that I would once again be dragged into the situation.

After “luggage guard,” next was “butcher”?

Just what exactly was written in my job description?