Chapter 1: Making a Spectacular Mess
Uh, where am I?
I am Saikyo Suguru.
Thirty-four years old and single.
To put it bluntly, I’m a poor, pathetic F-rank adventurer.
I mean, my current rival is a lizard that’s only about two meters long.
And I struggled like crazy just to beat it.
It took me fifteen years to get that far.
I think that says everything about my lack of talent.
Just a moment ago, I was in my backyard dungeon (an F-rank dungeon), so maybe this is still there.
The scenery is a cave made of rock, just like the place I was in before, so maybe it is.
[You stepped on a warp trap.]
[Where is this place?]
[Look over there.]
Comments from the livestream appeared on the smartphone strapped to my arm.
There were only two people watching the stream right now.
Since I’m at the very bottom, it can’t be helped.
I see, so I got warped by a trap.
In front of me was a group of people who were probably adventurers, judging by the expensive-looking protective gear they wore.
And beyond them was a gigantic dragon made of crystal.
[The old guy is dead.]
[Let’s give him a grand funeral.]
[Yeah, let’s spread the news.]
[Definitely.]
The comments weren’t comforting at all.
This wasn’t the time to be looking at them.
“We’re out of potions.”
The adventurers wore expressions of despair.
“What do we do?”
“Retreat! We’re retreating!”
The adventurers ran away.
The dragon opened its enormous mouth and roared.
Its roar echoed throughout the cave with deafening force.
“Eek.”
Overwhelmed by the sheer intensity, I crouched down and curled up.
The roar drew even closer.
[If you’re going down, take it with you.]
[Hang in there, old guy.]
[If you’re ready to die, you can do anything.]
The comments gave me courage.
That’s right, maybe if I land one hit, it’ll run away.
The monsters in my backyard dungeon are ridiculously weak.
Maybe because they’re timid, but if I hit them once, they run away.
Though if they’re cornered, they fight back.
And they’re surprisingly strong when they do.
No, that’s not it.
I’m just weak.
My backyard dungeon is F-rank, so there’s no way the monsters are actually strong.
I know I’m weak.
After all, it took me an entire year just to be able to defeat the weakest monster, a slime.
It took another two years to defeat a goblin.
Four years to defeat a Petit Wolf.
And eight years to defeat a lizard.
Even so, I should be able to land at least one hit on a dragon.
“Please stop, don’t come any closer.”
I swung my iron pipe—a water pipe—down at the dragon’s torso.
The dragon shattered into pieces with a thunderous crash.
“Ahuh.”
Huh?
Was it made of glass?
It must have been.
[Ended in one hit, lol.]
[I’m happy he survived, but also kind of disappointed.]
[You used up a lifetime’s worth of luck.]
[And thus the old guy’s life descended into endless misfortune.]
This is bad.
I feel like I’m about to become unlucky too.
If this was going to happen, I should have taken the day off.
But if I don’t work, I can’t eat.
[I came because I heard a bottom-tier adventurer got blown up. Huh? He’s not dead.]
[Same.]
[Still, that was amazing to watch. One-shotting a Diamond Dragon was incredible.]
[Was it really a Diamond Dragon? Maybe a weak monster disguised itself.]
[No idea. Someone will probably investigate later.]
[As a fan since the beginning, congratulations.]
[I think he was just saved by pure luck. His weapon happened to hit the perfect spot.]
[Yeah, aren’t there points where stone breaks more easily?]
[Exactly.]
“No way… an S-rank Diamond Dragon in one hit…”
“It’s a dream. I must be dreaming.”
I didn’t notice the comments.
Nor did I hear their voices.
All I could think was, ‘Oh no, I really did it.’
Destroying it completely was probably a bad idea if they wanted to collect materials.
They might not forgive me even if I apologize.
That glass statue was at least ten meters tall.
How much would something like that cost?
Would my savings be enough to compensate for it?
No, before that, sincerity comes first.
“I am truly sorry for everything.”
I bowed deeply and apologized.
[He’s apologizing, lol.]
[Cutting in is against the rules.]
[But wasn’t this a rescue?]
[Proper etiquette is to ask if they need help first.]
[Yep, he’s definitely going to become unlucky. A massive compensation bill is coming his way.]
[No, that was a Diamond Dragon. Judging from the situation, they were retreating, right? They were literally shouting ‘retreat.’]
[So, is the old guy out or safe?]
[Can’t wait.]
The adventurers stared at me as though they were looking at an alien.
Their eyes seemed to say, ‘Do you have any idea how much that thing was worth, you idiot?’
Please don’t look at me like that.
“What exactly are you apologizing for?”
A busty lady—though she was younger than me—asked in an exasperated tone.
Well, because this situation is obviously my fault, right?
Anyone would think so.
I should have asked whether they needed help.
But at the time, I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t have the spare attention for that.
If I apologize, they’ll forgive me, right?
But it didn’t seem like that was what was happening.