Chapter 28: Unrequited Feelings
The fragrant tea eased her nerves,
which had been tense from the unfamiliar outing.
Sumia was quite skilled at brewing tea.
When I mentioned it to Jibril, she smiled happily.
Lord Carreras, looking somewhat nervous,
brought the teacup to his lips with slightly trembling hands.
Normally, he wouldn’t be in a position to sit across from me.
But he wasn’t hostile—
if anything, he was overly considerate.
Even so, men were still frightening.
Even knowing he bore no ill will,
his height and physique—befitting a knight—were intimidating.
Perhaps the incident with Prince Lucas had made it worse.
Fortunately, Jibril and Anna were here.
And the guards my father assigned were present as well.
It should be safe.
“Um, Lady Albertina.
May I ask you something, if I may?”
“Yes, of course.
If it is something I can answer.”
“What is your relationship with Count Domitorias?”
“He is my childhood friend.
Jibril and I have known him for a long time.
He has always been very kind to us.”
He is one of my few childhood friends,
and someone very dear to me.
It seems he harbors special feelings for me,
but to be honest, I have no intention of responding to them.
Still, Michaelis is constantly dragged around by my family circumstances—
especially by Father.
And I suppose I cause him trouble as well.
If he is in difficulty,
I would like to help him a little.
I’ve tried to hint at it in my letters…
but perhaps he’s continuing with flattery?
Whether it’s a bluff or a flag, I can’t tell…
but I wish he would stop involving himself with a useless girl like me
and find a wonderful lady instead.
As his childhood friend,
I worry he might get entangled with strange women.
“He has already inherited his title,
and his graduation from the academy is near…
He comes from a distinguished family,
and he himself is diligent, serious, and sincere.
Why is it that such a fine gentleman
has yet to secure a marriage proposal…?”
“Lord Carreras, please refrain from commenting on this matter.
We know the reason.
My brother’s standards are extremely high,
and there are very few women who meet them.
And the one woman who does meet them is of high status,
with a very unusual upbringing.
Neither straightforward approaches nor tricks will work on her,
and despite her gentle demeanor, she is stubborn and has no intention of marrying.
On top of that, she has an incredibly powerful guardian,
so forceful methods would be tantamount to suicide.
My brother included,
every wolf and vulture who has tried has been utterly crushed.
There is simply no way forward.”
“…I see.”
“Yes, that is how it is.”
Jibril nodded gravely.
Lord Carreras looked as though he wished he had never asked,
his shoulders slumping in defeat.
With a weary air, he stood up,
and Jibril waved him off lightly.
“Thank you for your hard work.
You should take your leave now.”
After bowing deeply to me,
he returned to his post.
“Oh my!
Has Michaelis taken an interest in someone?”
“…As expected of you, Sister—
the one who completely evaded Kishtarial’s overwhelming beauty and pheromone assault…
no, rather, you didn’t even realize it.
I don’t intend to aid the enemy,
but I suppose that man who challenged you so bravely
deserves at least a round of applause.”
“I’ve never been courted by Kishtarial.”
“That’s far too cruel…”
“He did confess to me cutely when we were young,
and when I said I wanted to enter a convent,
he told me he wanted me to stay.”
“A convent!?! What do you mean!?”
“I asked Father, but he did not permit it…”
“That is only natural…
That duke would never let you go, not even to the grave.”
“Then, if I cannot become a nun,
I was thinking of becoming a commoner.
I have no value as a noble lady,
but as a commoner, even being ‘damaged’ might be acceptable.
There is no social society either!
Fortunately, I can use magic,
so I thought I might find work that way.”
“Please don’t, Sister!
Do you realize what kind of scum would try to defile you!?”
“You sound just like Julius.
It will be fine if I hide my face and pretend to be older…”
“That is impossible.
Your graceful bearing is that of high nobility.
Even if you hide your appearance,
your posture and voice alone mark you as a lady.”
So, it seems my manners as a noble lady pass.
Should I be happy about that in this situation?
It’s true—
one’s upbringing often shows in their behavior.
Even Julius, on rare occasions,
lets slip rough language—
though he lowers his voice and disguises it.
If he does that in front of me,
does it mean he trusts me…
or simply thinks I’m too useless to mind?
“If that is the case,
perhaps you could find work that does not expose you to others…”
“Why not simply marry?
Sister, you could choose any partner you desire—
royalty, or even one of the four great ducal houses.”
“…That would not be for me,
but for the title of Lattiche duke’s daughter.
Even if I marry,
I cannot handle society.
What value is a wife who cannot establish her position?
If someone wished to deal with my father,
I would only serve as the perfect hostage.”
All the consequences of neglecting society
have gathered here.
Even if I learned the manners,
having never experienced real social circles,
I would be an easy target.
Someone to be thoroughly exploited.
“…That is…”
Jibril hesitated.
Having seen the harsh reality of noble society,
she understood well.
“But is that something you should protect
by lowering yourself, Sister?
The duke loves you more than anything.
I cannot believe he would be pleased
with something gained through your suffering.”
Jibril pressed on.
She truly understood—
perhaps better than I did.
“That is precisely why.”
Her red eyes trembled.
I met her gaze without looking away.
“Father does not truly need anyone but me.
And I cannot bear
for him or the ducal house to suffer because of me.
I know this is selfish…
But just as Father wishes to protect me,
I also want to protect what I hold dear.”
The price of my negligence
is something I must pay myself.
The original Albertina abused Father’s power,
doing as she pleased in society and at the academy.
I was the same.
Living idly under his protection,
abandoning my role as a noble.
Jibril’s face crumpled,
her noble mask falling away.
“I love you, Sister.
I want to stay with you forever.
You are beautiful, elegant,
and kinder than anyone.
You are my greatest admiration.”
“Thank you, Jibril.
I love you too.”
“There are so many who love you…
Please don’t forget
that they are reaching out their hands,
waiting for you to take them.”
Even knowing that hand might lead to hell,
I cannot take it.
So I can only smile vaguely.
I am a coward.
I am a hypocrite.
I do not have the courage
to take that hand and go forward together
like a heroine would.
At first, I only feared my own ruin.
But before I knew it,
I began to fear bringing ruin upon those around me even more.
Father, who cherishes me.
My stepbrother who adores me.
My stepmother who worries for me.
Julius who always helps me.
Anna who stays by my side.
Even within the small world of the ducal house,
I have come to love more than enough.
I love Jibril and Michaelis too.
But I cannot support them.
I can only hold them back.
I do not want to die—
but aside from that, I can give up anything.
If I die, they would grieve.
So instead, I will leave while alive.
From afar,
I only wish for their happiness.
From the VIP seats,
the arena could be seen clearly.
There was a wide canopy,
spacious seating,
and even tables for tea and light meals.
Apparently, alcohol was also served.
Looking down,
the seating for commoners and nobles was separate.
Though there were no strict restrictions,
the ticket prices differed greatly.
In the commoner section,
vendors walked around selling food and drinks.
Some even bought alcohol in the daytime.
It reminded me a little of a baseball stadium.
Though instead of sports,
this was a competition of swordsmanship.
Among the crowd,
some wore clothing unlike the Western-style attire of Sandis Kingdom.
They resembled something closer to Arabian styles.
“Are those beastfolk?
It’s my first time seeing them.”
“Oh my, indeed.
They’re quite rare here.
The Sandis Kingdom isn’t particularly discriminatory,
but since it borders the Goyuran Kingdom,
they don’t come here often.”
The Goyuran Kingdom was highly discriminatory toward beastfolk.
Rather than merely exclusive,
they denied rights to demi-humans like elves, dwarves, and beastfolk.
They were treated as livestock or slaves.
Jibril and I watched
a wolf-type beastman with twitching ears.
His ash-gray fur shimmered silver in the sunlight.
He walked on two legs,
covered entirely in fur,
more animal-like than human.
He carried a sword.
“Is he a participant?”
“Usually, only knight candidates or members of knight orders participate,
but foreigners or other races can join with a recommendation.”
“Then he must be quite skilled.”
“Perhaps he’s trying to gain citizenship.
The Sandis Kingdom is wealthy and powerful,
and life here is far better than in smaller nations.”
“I see…
I look forward to seeing foreign swordsmanship.”
“Sister, you do seem to enjoy watching such things.”
“I saw Michaelis demonstrate once, didn’t I?
It was wonderful.”
I dislike life-and-death arenas,
but competitions of pure skill are enjoyable.
As we talked,
the wolf beastman suddenly turned and looked at us.
Our eyes met—
his hazel gaze locking onto mine.
“Oh my…
He was listening.”
“His hearing must be sharp.”
“Well, he is a beastman.”
“But eavesdropping on a lady’s conversation is improper.
Even if you hear,
you should pretend not to.”
Jibril spoke sharply.
The beastman’s ears drooped,
and he quickly fled.
“He should have done that from the start.”
Jibril…
you’ve really grown strong.
Where did the timid girl from the game go?
Is it because I’m here
that you’ve become this bright person?