Chapter 16: The Dream Story — Part Two

Suddenly overcome with fear, I clutched the cushion I had been leaning against.

It had texture.
It had a scent.
It’s fine.
This is real.
It’s not a dream.

I told myself that, but I still felt uneasy, so I rang the bell to call Bell.

“My lady, did you call for me?”

“Come here.”

I grabbed Bell’s hand tightly.
I rubbed it, confirming the feel of her skin.

“My lady?”

“Bell.
It’s you, isn’t it?
This isn’t a dream, right?”

Bell squeezed my hand back, looking troubled.

“Did you have a frightening dream?”

“Yes.
A very frightening one.
I couldn’t tell which world was real anymore…”

“I’ll bring you something.
How about some tea with just a drop of brandy?
With plenty of honey.
It will warm you.”

“Please.”

Bell hurried off to prepare the tea.

Thank goodness.
This must be reality.
It has to be.

But I still didn’t understand why I kept seeing my previous self.
Even though I had died once, I didn’t know why I was alive again, starting over.

It was strange, but until now I hadn’t thought deeply about it.
I had been too preoccupied.
And since the restart, nothing unusual had happened.

Was it because I had chosen a different future?

Bell returned with the teacup on a tray.

The honey and brandy were placed separately in small dishes.

I added a single drop of brandy, then scooped a generous spoonful of honey.
The honey flowed slowly into the tea.
When I took a sip, the gentle sweetness soothed my trembling heart.

I added another spoonful of honey, then hesitated before adding two more drops of brandy.

“It’s sweet and delicious.
This is my first time adding brandy to tea.
So yes, this can’t be a dream.”

At last, I declared it with confidence.

Bell watched me kindly.

“Do you think I’ve gone strange, saying such things?”

“These past few days—no, these past months since you began receiving those letters—have been unbearable for you.
If I may say so, being a little strange right now would be perfectly normal.”

“…You’re right.”

I fell silent and prayed in my heart.

‘Please, let those strange dreams end.’

Yet that night, I dreamed again.

In the dream, I was dying.
I heard the doctor say,

“It appears she attempted suicide by poison.
Her body is too weakened.
She likely won’t survive.”

Then he said to Jason-sama, “Please hear her final words.”
This time, I could hear the voices clearly.

I vaguely remembered this exchange.
It must have been my final moments.
Perhaps when you face your own death, you cannot recognize it clearly.

Everyone else left the room, and Jason-sama remained.
Merry stood nearby holding a bowl of water and a towel.

“Maria, I feel sorry for you.
Forgive me.
We needed someone like you.
As an apology, I prepared medicine so you won’t suffer.”

I looked at Jason-sama with confused eyes.

Merry stepped beside him, and his hand slipped around her waist.
And then, calmly, they explained their scheme to me.

A faint light of understanding flickered in my unfocused eyes.

Merry sat before me and, in a low voice, began once again asking about my grandmother’s accessories.

“Which one is the most important?”

She glared at me, then sighed.

“You don’t even know which one it is, do you?
Honestly, how utterly useless you are.”

“Is something wrong with the accessories?
If you want something, I’ll buy you as many as you like in the future.”

“Thank you, Jason.
I’m so happy.”

They left together, saying they would call the doctor.

Tears filled my eyes.

“The last… words I was given… were ‘useless’…”

In a hoarse voice, I muttered, striking the back of my hand with the fan at my bedside.

“I hate… myself like this…
If only I could go back…”

The fan slipped from my hand and fell onto the blanket.

I died.

—But the dream did not end.

The scene shifted.
Merry was meeting that same man again.

She had brought my accessories in a bag and was showing them to him.

This time, I could hear their voices.

“This is everything she had.
I brought all the pieces she said were inherited.
There isn’t a single gemstone with the eye-like pattern you mentioned.
You examine them yourself.
If they all disappear, I’ll be suspected.”

The man silently inspected each one.
Then he said, sounding annoyed,

“I can’t tell which one we’re looking for.
I’ll take them all.”

“What?
That’s not what we agreed.
I’ll be in trouble.”

The man gave her a nasty grin.

“I’ll make sure you won’t be.”

Then he placed his hand around Merry’s neck.

I jolted upright in bed.

What was that dream?

What did I just see?

My hand trembled over my mouth as I rang the bell.
Bell came at once.

“Good morning, my lady.”

But she immediately noticed something was wrong and rushed to my side.

“Are you feeling unwell?
Does something hurt?
What happened?”

I clung to her hand.
My heart was pounding so hard it was difficult to breathe.

Gripping her hand, I forced out the words.

“I had a dream.
A very frightening one.”

The tension left Bell’s shoulders.

“Take a deep breath.
The dream is over now.”

The dream is over now.

As she said that, my breathing suddenly eased.

Bell drew back the bed curtains and opened the window drapes.
Outside, the scenery was bright and pleasant.

I took a deep breath as instructed, and my mind gradually calmed.
I decided to set the dream aside for now and think about it later.

After changing clothes, I had breakfast brought in.
Then, to clear my mind, I began embroidery.

When I embroider, all stray thoughts vanish.
It is the best remedy.

As I wondered what to stitch, I found myself wanting to embroider blue flowers again.

I smiled faintly while choosing threads and colors when a servant arrived, saying my luggage had arrived and needed inspection.

Bell and I went downstairs.
In a corner of the hall, my sparse belongings were lined up.

Seeing them, I was surprised all over again at how little there was.

Mother and Noel stood nearby, clearly shocked as well.
When Noel saw me, she spoke first.

“Sister, is this really all you took?
Just this?”

Mother looked flustered.

“You barely took any of the items we ordered and prepared for your marriage.
Why?”

“Because if I was going to be killed anyway, I didn’t need them.
I told Lloyd we would arrange for the rest later.”

The two of them fell silent, stunned.
Their faces stiffened.
It seemed they had finally understood what I had been saying all along.