Chapter 6: The Shape of Happiness

The necklace Dorothy had received from Silas was simple and perfectly suitable for everyday wear.
Even so, though she had accepted it, she had no intention of putting it on.
Though they were still legally married, they were already living apart, and divorce was a certainty, so there was no way she could wear something given to her by someone who was essentially her ex-husband.
She truly could not understand what he was thinking.
If he was going to give her something like this, it should have been much earlier, and now it felt far too late.

While she was back at work, staring at the necklace during a brief lull and lost in thought, Leticia spoke to her.

“Dorothy, what’s wrong?”
“Leticia, um, I was given this…”
“Oh my, it’s a lovely necklace. Was it a gift from someone who has feelings for you?”
“No, it was given to me by the man who will soon be my ex-husband. And he gave it to me in the cafeteria.”
“The cafeteria? I had heard that you and Count Miller were not on good terms… and yet he went out of his way to give you a necklace there?”
“Yes. That’s why I don’t really understand it. According to him, everyone else wears a necklace of this level, and I was the only one who didn’t.”
“Could it be that he is concerned about you?”
“That is not possible. We never built that kind of relationship. If I had to guess, it was less concern for me and more concern about how things looked to others.”

As could be seen from how easily he was swayed by his friends’ opinions, Silas was someone who cared deeply about how others viewed him.
How many times had she heard, “So-and-so said this,” as justification.
Even baseless rumors, if repeated by those around him, were things he would believe.

“Oh my, so that’s the kind of man your husband is.”

A necklace sparkled at Leticia’s chest as she said that.
The pale blue gemstone suited her gentle atmosphere perfectly.

“You can tell that the person who gave you that necklace truly thought of you when choosing it, Leticia.”
“Heehee, thank you. Lucy bought this for me while traveling. Apparently, in the region where he bought it, there is a saying that happiness is carried by the color blue, so everyone wears something blue. When Lucy told His Majesty about it, the very next day he gifted Lady Aurelia blue necklaces and rings.”

Lucy referred to Leticia’s fiancé, Lucian, one of the Emperor’s close aides.
Leticia and Lucian had grown up together as siblings, though they were not related by blood, and due to various circumstances in the household where they were raised, they had fled together to the Empire.
Just recently, they had officially gone from siblings to fiancés.

“It seems His Majesty and Lord Lucian would stop at nothing if it were for Lady Aurelia’s and Leticia’s happiness.”

When Dorothy said that with a soft sigh, she heard Aurelia laugh quietly.

“I think those two are extreme, don’t you, Leticia?”
“Lady Aurelia, well, yes.”

Aurelia had returned to the room and was laughing with amusement.

“This is perfect timing, Dorothy. I wanted to ask you about that necklace.”
“Huh? About this?”
“Yes. It seems it has become a bit of a rumor, and His Majesty told me to confirm it. So, what’s the story?”

Since it had been given to her in the cafeteria, full of eyes and ears, it had quickly become gossip.
Both Eugene and Aurelia had thoroughly investigated Dorothy before employing her.
A woman neglected both by her birth family and the family she married into.
Yet rather than simply lamenting her situation, she had steadily prepared to leave, and that was why Aurelia decided to bring her into her inner circle.
They valued the fact that she did not simply go along with things but did what she could, little by little.
That was why they knew it was extremely rare for Dorothy and her husband to be seen together in public.
Which made it all the more puzzling that he would gift her a necklace before so many people.

“I was given it suddenly.”
“Suddenly?”
“Yes. I was in the cafeteria when Sir Silas suddenly came and handed it to me. He likely saw or heard that the other ladies-in-waiting were wearing necklaces and thought that me being the only one without one would bring shame to the Miller Count House.”
“Is there anything else you can think of? For example, something happening around Count Miller?”
“I’m not sure. Even if something did happen, I don’t think it would have anything to do with me.”
“Then what about around you? Have you become close with any men?”
“I truly have no idea what you mean… What counts as being close?”

A friend, or a lover.
She did speak with men working at the palace as part of her duties.
If that counted, then even His Majesty would qualify.

“I heard that you’ve been close with Noah Feremelen, the assistant to the Chancellor, recently.”

Seeing Aurelia’s worried expression, Dorothy realized that this had been the real question.
If rumors were spreading about an unmarried man and a married woman, that would indeed be problematic.
And Dorothy was under the Empress’s authority.
Some might seize the opportunity to accuse the Empress of poor management.

“Lord Noah is the older brother of my friend. Because of that connection, he has been considerate toward me. We are not especially close, but if it has become gossip, I will be more careful.”

They had never arranged to meet, only exchanged a few words when they happened to run into each other.

“If people are saying such things about me, I feel bad for my friend and for Lord Noah as well. If someone were to say it to me directly, I could deny it properly.”

As Dorothy fell silent in thought, Aurelia and Leticia quietly exchanged glances.
That was not it.
But they could not say that now.
Both Aurelia and Leticia knew from experience.
That type of man would not give up, nor would he intend to let go.
Once he decided on someone, he would obtain her no matter how many years it took.

“…What do you think will make you happy?”

Dorothy blinked at Aurelia’s words.

“…My happiness?”
“Yes.”
“When I married, my parents told me that marrying Sir Silas was my happiness. Sir Silas told me that becoming a countess should make me happy. Others said similar things. But unfortunately, the only time I ever felt happiness in the Miller household was when I was embroidering alone. My happiness now is working like this. Being free from the constraints of family is, in its own way, quite happy for me.”

To Dorothy, the concept of family had only ever been something that bound her.
She was a convenient existence for her family.
Someone who could be forgotten, neglected, shouted at, and mentally abused as much as they wanted, so long as no visible wounds were left.
An internal weak link, one who could be treated however they liked without complaint from anywhere.
That was why even the slightest resistance or indifference from Dorothy only irritated them further.
And strangely enough, their familial affection toward everyone except Dorothy was quite deep.

“…Lady Aurelia, Leticia, this may be rude to ask, but how did you feel when you married, or became engaged?”

Aurelia had originally been the daughter of a duke from a small country, and Leticia was engaged to the man who had once been her adoptive brother.
Both of them looked happy now.

“It’s complicated for you too, isn’t it. …My birth family was somewhat twisted. My mother only cared about my younger sister, and Lucian and I wanted to escape that distortion, so we promised that one day we would leave. This is not something I can say loudly, but in my homeland, Lucian is already considered dead. It was announced that he had died in a carriage accident while studying in the Balba Empire.”

At that time, Leticia had truly believed Lucian was dead.
The despair of never seeing him again had nearly broken her.

“I later learned that he was alive and had been making preparations to bring me to the Empire. In my case, Lucian had arranged everything, so I had no anxiety about coming here. There was also the fact that as long as Lucian was there, anywhere was fine for me. To me, the place I live is wherever Lucian is. That has not changed, whether I was by his side as his sister or now as his fiancée. If Lucian had decided to marry another woman, I honestly don’t know what would have become of me. That’s why I was simply happy when he asked me to marry him. It was like being promised that we would always be together. Lucian never breaks his promises.”

Never to be separated again.
She believed that even in death, the gap between them would not be long.
They were bound together, but Leticia and Lucian chose that bond willingly.
Seeing Leticia’s smile, Aurelia smiled softly as well.

“As you know, I was originally the daughter of a duke from a small country. I came here as a substitute for my homeland’s princess, and at the time, His Majesty already had eight consorts. I entered the inner palace as the ninth.”

For Aurelia, marrying into the Balba Empire had been decided suddenly.
There was no room to say she disliked it.
The Lind Kingdom had already broken its promise to the Empire.
They were supposed to send the princess, but instead sent a duke’s daughter.
At that point, Lind could have been destroyed outright.

“I had a childhood fiancé in my homeland. And of all things, he and the princess committed infidelity. The King of Lind, doting on his daughter, immediately approved of them. And then he ordered me to marry in her place. When you hear it like that, it sounds quite cruel. At the time, I resigned myself to it. I did not even know whether His Majesty would ever visit someone like me, who was not even a princess.”

At that time, her only thought was to fulfill her country’s obligation to the Empire, even a little.

“It had not been long since I parted from my fiancé, so my heart still held him. At first, even when His Majesty came, we only talked. His Majesty looks forceful, but he is not like that at all, and as I spoke with him, I naturally began to feel that I wanted to stay close to him.”

Before she knew it, their skin touched naturally.
With Eugene, she held only gentle memories.

“His Majesty said he would give me a new heart. The heart I have now is one His Majesty gave me.”

As Aurelia laughed softly, she did not look like someone who had entered the palace as the ninth consort.
She looked like a woman raised to become an Empress.

“Listen, Dorothy. Leticia and I can smile like this now, but it took time. Leticia nurtured a bond from childhood. I received a new heart after losing everything. What do you think will happen to you?”

The two women smiled gently and did not decide Dorothy’s happiness for her.
They did not say she had to be a certain way, and even if she did not get along with her family, they said that was fine.
The happiness her family spoke of was something Dorothy could not truly feel.
To Dorothy, family itself was something she could not understand, so how could she understand the happiness they spoke of.
She did not try to understand them either.
She simply accepted that this was how things were.
She did not deepen relationships, nor did she connect hearts with Silas after marrying him.

“…I am reflecting a little now. Setting aside my birth family, I should have properly spoken with Sir Silas. That said, I have no intention of going back, and I still believe divorce is the right choice. I just want to talk a little, and then move forward.”

At Dorothy’s words, Aurelia and Leticia smiled gently and nodded.

“It will be fine. You have us. If anything happens, you can come here. And as for the rumors about you and Noah Feremelen, you do not need to worry about them.”

Because when Noah Feremelen heard those rumors, he was smiling.